Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
