I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
