Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
