her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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