He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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