I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
