How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
