She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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