A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
