i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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