Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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