Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
one two three fourrrrnication!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
