I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
