epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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