the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
