Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
