But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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