she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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