she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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