So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
