Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
