absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
