I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
