We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i out mim tonsoeep
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
