Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
