worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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