Already got asked if we're dating
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
