Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
