she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
