im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
