Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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