Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
