I murdered the dance floor call the cops
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
