Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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