She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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