i already hear my dad disowning me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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