good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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