Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
