Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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