Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
