There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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