im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
