...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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