He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
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11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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