So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
