Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
