yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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