I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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