I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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