Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
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if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
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Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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