Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
