I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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