dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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