There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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