Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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