There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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