Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
