Im at strip club and am horny
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
