Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
