I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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