Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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