I'm so fucking centered right now
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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